Intergalactic Cats
by Leesa Perrie
Summary: Set after The Return, so a future fic of sorts. Just a lighthearted bit of fluffiness.


**Intergalactic Cats**

**By Leesa Perrie**

_This is just a bit of fun…not to be taken seriously…it was a plot bunny that just would not die…Set Season 3…a future fic as it is after The Return – and I haven't seen part two yet!_

No one could explain how the cat found its way into Cheyenne Mountain, let alone how it found its way down into the bowels of the SGC. Certainly no one could explain how it found its way into a jumper, hiding amongst some crates of supplies heading for Atlantis.

The first that anyone knew about this intergalactic stowaway was when the jumper arrived at Atlantis, via the intergalactic bridge, and the crates were being moved. At that point, the marines moving the supplies got a shock as an angry, frightened and very pregnant female cat shot out of the jumper and disappeared into the depths of the jumper bay.

A quick alteration of the biometric sensors, and a suitable humane trap from the xenobiologists that was baited with food, soon located and trapped the female intruder. The orders were to take her back to Earth when the jumper returned, but the cat decided that now was a good time to have her kittens. It was not advisable to return the cat whilst in the midst of child, or kitten, birth, so she was moved to the lab of one of the xenobiologists, who had worked in a veterinary practice as a teenager.

The cat had five kittens, allowing them to suckle and washing them carefully as a good mother cat would. Unfortunately, two hours after the last kitten was born, she passed away. It was discovered that she had been riddled with cancer, and it was a minor miracle that the kittens had been born at all.

Of course, the kittens needed to be fed and looked after. The xenobiologist with the veterinary nurse experience took this job on, and taught several volunteers in how to look after them as well. Despite all the efforts of the surrogate 'mothers', three of the kittens died within the first week. The last two, both females, survived and were growing into big strong kittens.

At six weeks, the decision was made to send them back to Earth for adoption, as they were now strong, healthy and old enough to survive without their surrogate parents.

There was an outcry from most of the scientists, and many of the military too. The kittens were seen as mascots, even more so because of their difficult start in life, and the fact that they had survived against all the odds. Elizabeth feared a revolt, of sorts, and wasn't too surprised when they went missing the day before being returned to Earth. The biometric sensors couldn't pick them up, so she knew that one of the people involved had enough knowledge to either tamper with the sensors, or know how to shield the kittens from them.

She asked Rodney for a list of people capable of doing this, which he duly provided. Working down the list, she was met with denials and claims of innocence, which didn't surprise her either.

It was two days after the kittens disappearance, and in a staff meeting she noticed that Carson's eyes seemed red, and that he was sniffling. After the meeting, she asked him if he was alright. He admitted to having a mild allergic reaction, but that it was getting better now. Nothing for her to worry about.

It wasn't until after he had gone, that she remembered that he was allergic to cats.

Clue number one, perhaps.

She headed down to the infirmary, and asked Carson who he had been in contact with prior to his allergic reaction. He prevaricated, in the end saying he couldn't really pinpoint when the symptoms started, or who he had been around at that time. He didn't deny that it was his cat allergy, at least.

Elizabeth was about to demand access to his records, so that she could see who he had treated today, when Rodney bustled in, and stopped short, surprised to she her here. He backed up slightly, muttering that it, whatever it was, could wait, and turned to leave. She noticed his hand had a bandage on it.

Clue number two.

When asked what had happened to his hand, he stuttered that it was nothing really, and Carson jumped in the say Rodney had burnt his hand after spilling coffee on it, but that it wasn't anything serious. He even made out that the bandage was more to shut Rodney up than actually being needed. Rodney, of course, huffed in annoyance at that.

And then Carson sneezed several times.

Clue number three.

Raising an eyebrow, she turned to Rodney, who was looking rather sheepish, though he quickly pushed that aside when he realised she was watching him. Didn't he have a cat he left behind on Earth, and didn't he admit to missing said cat at some point in the past?

"You know, it's just occurred to me," she started, "that the list I asked you to supply about who could fool the sensors didn't have your name on it."

"Oh, well, that goes without saying, doesn't it?" He said, putting on his most conceited face.

"Or maybe you were hoping I'd be so caught up with the list that it wouldn't occur to me to consider you a suspect?"

"No, no, that's not the case."

Rodney was a terrible liar. She smiled, and his face fell at the sight. Carson sneezed a few more times.

"Judging by Carson's reaction to you, you've been in contact with the kittens recently, haven't you?"

"Er, no, it's just a…coincidence…"

"Ach, lad, you're an awful liar." Carson muttered between sneezes, "and you should have changed your clothes before coming down here…"

"Um, yes, sorry about that…"

"Rodney," she said, gaining his attention, "where are they?"

"Not telling," he said, crossing his arms over his chest, wincing slightly when the action rubbed his injured hand.

"Rodney…" she warned.

"No, not telling. You're not sending them back to Earth." He jutted his chin out, defiance in his eyes.

"What happened to your hand?" she asked, changing tactics.

"One of the kittens got a wee bit carried away and scratched him good and proper," Carson put in.

"They were just playing," Rodney defended them, "and it's not like it's all that bad. And I'm still not telling you where they are."

"I see. Then, Dr McKay, I'm going to have to take action. You're confined to your quarters…"

"Oh, yes, until when? The next crisis that only I can solve, hmm? Or the next time Sheppard and _my _team get into trouble because the scientist you've replaced me with isn't up to it, and only I can drag their sorry asses out of danger? Until when, Elizabeth? Until I resign and go back to Earth, and adopt a certain two kittens myself, maybe?"

"Rodney…"

"No, do what you think you have to, but I'm not giving them up."

Damn stubborn mule of a man, she thought. What was she supposed to do? Carson was watching her with narrowed eyes, and it was clear that even he was in on the conspiracy to keep the kittens, and the man was allergic to them!

She had security escort Rodney to his quarters, and made sure a guard would be on his door at all times. His laptop had been confiscated, and he was to have no visitors unless she sanctioned it. She didn't hold out much hope of gaining his cooperation, but she couldn't let him undermine her authority without some sort of punishment.

A day passed, and Rodney was unrepentant.

Another day passed, and she realised that Sheppard had been in to see Rodney more than once, despite her orders. Shortly after this, the water in her shower went cold and stayed that way. Radek merely said something about a minor problem with the system, and that he would get onto it right away. The water was still cold the next day.

Whenever she went to the mess hall, they had always run out of her favourite food. Her coffee was always too cold, too milky or too sweet, unless she made it herself. Weekly reports were delivered late, if at all. A myriad of other little slights or inconveniences occurred during the five days Rodney was confined to his quarters.

On the sixth day, she went to see him again, to find him asleep. Draped over him were the two kittens, one pure black, one silvery grey. No wonder the guard had been reluctant to let her in.

She moved over to the kittens, picking up the black one, intending to take both of them and find a cage until she could send them back to Earth. But the one she picked up purred and snuggled against her, and she found herself petting the soft silky fur. It looked at her with large kitten eyes full of pleasure, and the purring increased.

Damn it, she was the person in charge here. She had to be tough. She hadn't given into Kolya's demands when he tortured John with the wraith and she damn well wasn't going to fall for the charms of a couple of kittens. She wasn't!

But it just kept purring, and the fur was so soft…

She sat down in a chair, and the kitten, after kneading her lap for a few moments, curled up, still purring. As she watched Rodney sleeping, she noticed how…peaceful he seemed. She knew he suffered from nightmares, Carson had told her in confidence that they had grown worse over the last few months, but now…he seemed untroubled.

Looking back to the bundle of fur purring away in her lap, she sighed. Carefully, she picked the kitten up and slipped it back on top of Rodney, where it soon settled onto the back of his neck.

Quietly slipping out of the room, she nodded to the guard and relieved him of duty.

Heading back to her office, she started writing the memo in her head. The one that would make it clear that the kittens were staying on Atlantis.

She would just have to set down some rules, about where they were allowed to roam, and about keeping any clothing worn in their presence away from her Chief Medical Officer.

Back in Rodney's room, he carefully turned over after Elizabeth had left, and smiled a small triumphant little smile to himself. His calculated risk had worked out just like he thought it would. Settling back down, the kittens, Midnight and Stardust, and he fell into a contented sleep.

The End


End file.
